Everything will work out. Eventually.

I'm one to tell you that everything will work out. Your problem will be solved. Until it is, I'm a shoulder to cry on and one that loves to give advice. Take a deep breath, step back and see how to fix the problem. But when it comes to me... I don't take my own advice. I need to know when and how things will work out, right then. Tell me what to do. I can't decide how to fix it or what to do by myself. No sleep, stress, can't stop thinking. My world feels it's ending. But eventually it works out. Maybe not the way I had pictured it. But it worked out how it was suppose to. And every time I'm in the middle of a problem... I forget it will work out... eventually. "...And all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good..." -D&C 98:3 If you you have talked to me lately, you know that I am one stressed out woman. Much of it has to do with money, happiness, school, health problems and other personal things. I haven't slept much, thinking about all the things that need to be done and the money that needs to be earned before next fall. Being on F.A.F.S.A. for school, I am not allowed to have a job, even during the summer. I don't have a car, laptop or money for next years books. As some of you may know, not having money can put a lot of pressure and stress on you. A few nights ago I was in my apartment crying at three in the morning, trying not to wake up my roommate. For the first time in a long time I got down on my knees to pray. I was prompted to open up my scriptures to a random page and just start reading. So I did. I came Across D&C 98:3. With all that is going on it hit me that the Lord would take care of me in this state of loneliness and other things I am going through. This morning I woke up to my mom telling me my grandma called and wanted to make me shopping. I was excited, I love my grandma. So I got on my phone and gave her a ring. She answered and said "Hi Lizz, I want to take you shopping today!" "That sounds great!" I was thinking we would go to the usual places like Kohl's or Target, which would be awesome. "Lizz, I'd like to take you laptop shopping." I didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Grandma, I can't let you do that. Laptops cost so much." "I know but I know that you need one for school and I want to buy you one." That sweet lady came to pick me up and took me to the store. She talked to my uncle before she came to get me about what kind to get me, what she should look for and what would be the best. She's amazing. When we got to the store she had me look at the laptops and told me what my uncle said to look for. She helped me pick the perfect one. As we were at the checkout counter tears filled my eyes and I watched my grandma pull out her credit card. How did she know that I needed this so badly and was struggling in college without it? How did she know I was loosing sleep wondering how I was going to pay for this? How was I blessed with such a thoughtful woman in my life? My grandmother isn't just a thoughtful woman for buying me a laptop. She is always thinking of others. She never forgets a birthday. She is always taking lunch or her homemade soup to people that are sick. When I was in the hospital my senior year, she called every hour and visited me everyday when the weather was good enough. My grandmother is the definition of love. She is the first step that has helped my dilemma to start working out. As I am sitting here now typing on my new laptop tears are streaming down my face, knowing that there is someone that knows me so well and is there for me, in this time that I feel so lonely. As conceded as it sounds that from receiving a gift I feel weight being lifted off my shoulders. I still know that I have these "afflictions" but I'm starting to see the light at the tunnel. stay original. <3 Lizz

Turned Him Into Lyrics.

I really liked you.
You might even call it love.
Your kisses were the sweetest I ever had.
The hours we spent together felt like sunshine was put back into that cold frosted valley we lived in.
I loved you.
But soon you left and my heart did too.
I know it sounds dramatic, but now I know why people never forget "that one" person.
Because first loves take so much of you.
And when they leave... a part of you does too.
I know you didn't feel the same way.
But thank you for teaching me how to love and let go.
Really. Thank you.
I will never forget "that one".
You were my one.

This is my first blog post.  I wasn't really sure what I was going to blog about so I decided I would start with something big... my first love.  What you just read above was a short story I wrote,of how he and I were together.  When he me that he was leaving, I had the hardest time.  I sat in my apartment for days.  So what was I going to do to get over this boy?  Write a song. This song is the story of us. It describes everything that went right and wrong and why I fell for him.  The day he left I went home before he said goodbye.  I left him a note telling him that I couldn't say goodbye because I was too much of a wimp and that when I say goodbyes they are for good, because for me goodbyes are some of the most painful things I have ever had to do.  I wrote that he was an amazing friend and he helped me get through a lot that semester.  In the letter I left him a type of friendship bracelet,(he always wore them).  My roommates gave it to him after I left and when he came over to say his goodbyes.  They let me know he got it.  I waited all Christmas break and never heard a word from him.  No facebook post, no phone call, no text.  On Chistmas Eve I sent him a text telling him Merry Chirstmas and hoped he has a great one.  Still... no response.  Before he left he knew I had been writing a song.  I never let him see the lyrics or told him what it was about.  When I wrote that letter I told him the song was about him.  About how grateful I was that he is in my life and a great friend.  (nothing creepy).  My heart hurt when I knew he had read that letter, I knew that he got a bracelet I made specifically for him and most of all he knew I wrote a song when even he himself is a musician and writes songs and knows how hard it is to do so... and it was all about HIM.  After Christmas break was over I shared the song with my roommates and friends.  They loved it.  I still wasn't over him... and I knew I needed to be and I wanted to be.  My amazing roommate who is also one of my best friends told me "The last step to get over him is to share your song."  So, what did I do?  I got up on a stage in front of 200 people and song my song.  This ones for him:

How did I not realize Id fall inlove with your big old smile
and your inner child and your bright blue eyes?
And I like how you comb you hair like everything you wear skinney jeans
and those graffic tees and that you play guitar for me.
But soon, soon you'll be gone.
You'll leave me behind.
And I'll try to survive.
I'll miss your visits, you ask how i've been.
On my sadest of days you always make me grin.
I've said tons of goodbyes and you know that too.
But my hardest goobye will be bye to you.
I like laughing on the floor, your quiet knocks at my door.
Nervous kiss, I think that I missed.
But it still was total bliss.
Soon, soon you'll be gone.
You'll leave me behind.
And I'll try to survive.
I'll miss your visits, you ask how I've been.
On my sadest of days you always make me grin.
I've said tons of goodbyes and you know that too.
But my hardest goodbye will be bye to you.
And that night I told you how I felt.
How your smile makes me melt.
That way you laugh and sing.
Boy I love your everything.
But soon, soon you'll be gone.
You'll leave me behind.
And i'll try to survive.
I'll miss your visits, you ask how I've been.
On my sadest of days you always make me grin.
I've said tons of goodbyes and you know that too.
But my hardest goodbye will be bye to you.


After singing that song, I was over him.  Three months have passed by and I've seen him twice.  Sometimes those feelings come, but I remember that moment on stage.  That through each strum of my guitar, I was playing him out of my life.  Don't get my wrong I never will or want to forget that boy.  He will always have a special place in my heart. 
Thank you for coming into my life.
Thank you for being my first love.
Thank you for teaching me how to get hurt and bandage myself.
I turned you into lyics.

stay original. <3 Lizz