Monday, March 12, 2012

Turned Him Into Lyrics.

I really liked you.
You might even call it love.
Your kisses were the sweetest I ever had.
The hours we spent together felt like sunshine was put back into that cold frosted valley we lived in.
I loved you.
But soon you left and my heart did too.
I know it sounds dramatic, but now I know why people never forget "that one" person.
Because first loves take so much of you.
And when they leave... a part of you does too.
I know you didn't feel the same way.
But thank you for teaching me how to love and let go.
Really. Thank you.
I will never forget "that one".
You were my one.

This is my first blog post.  I wasn't really sure what I was going to blog about so I decided I would start with something big... my first love.  What you just read above was a short story I wrote,of how he and I were together.  When he me that he was leaving, I had the hardest time.  I sat in my apartment for days.  So what was I going to do to get over this boy?  Write a song. This song is the story of us. It describes everything that went right and wrong and why I fell for him.  The day he left I went home before he said goodbye.  I left him a note telling him that I couldn't say goodbye because I was too much of a wimp and that when I say goodbyes they are for good, because for me goodbyes are some of the most painful things I have ever had to do.  I wrote that he was an amazing friend and he helped me get through a lot that semester.  In the letter I left him a type of friendship bracelet,(he always wore them).  My roommates gave it to him after I left and when he came over to say his goodbyes.  They let me know he got it.  I waited all Christmas break and never heard a word from him.  No facebook post, no phone call, no text.  On Chistmas Eve I sent him a text telling him Merry Chirstmas and hoped he has a great one.  Still... no response.  Before he left he knew I had been writing a song.  I never let him see the lyrics or told him what it was about.  When I wrote that letter I told him the song was about him.  About how grateful I was that he is in my life and a great friend.  (nothing creepy).  My heart hurt when I knew he had read that letter, I knew that he got a bracelet I made specifically for him and most of all he knew I wrote a song when even he himself is a musician and writes songs and knows how hard it is to do so... and it was all about HIM.  After Christmas break was over I shared the song with my roommates and friends.  They loved it.  I still wasn't over him... and I knew I needed to be and I wanted to be.  My amazing roommate who is also one of my best friends told me "The last step to get over him is to share your song."  So, what did I do?  I got up on a stage in front of 200 people and song my song.  This ones for him:

How did I not realize Id fall inlove with your big old smile
and your inner child and your bright blue eyes?
And I like how you comb you hair like everything you wear skinney jeans
and those graffic tees and that you play guitar for me.
But soon, soon you'll be gone.
You'll leave me behind.
And I'll try to survive.
I'll miss your visits, you ask how i've been.
On my sadest of days you always make me grin.
I've said tons of goodbyes and you know that too.
But my hardest goobye will be bye to you.
I like laughing on the floor, your quiet knocks at my door.
Nervous kiss, I think that I missed.
But it still was total bliss.
Soon, soon you'll be gone.
You'll leave me behind.
And I'll try to survive.
I'll miss your visits, you ask how I've been.
On my sadest of days you always make me grin.
I've said tons of goodbyes and you know that too.
But my hardest goodbye will be bye to you.
And that night I told you how I felt.
How your smile makes me melt.
That way you laugh and sing.
Boy I love your everything.
But soon, soon you'll be gone.
You'll leave me behind.
And i'll try to survive.
I'll miss your visits, you ask how I've been.
On my sadest of days you always make me grin.
I've said tons of goodbyes and you know that too.
But my hardest goodbye will be bye to you.


After singing that song, I was over him.  Three months have passed by and I've seen him twice.  Sometimes those feelings come, but I remember that moment on stage.  That through each strum of my guitar, I was playing him out of my life.  Don't get my wrong I never will or want to forget that boy.  He will always have a special place in my heart. 
Thank you for coming into my life.
Thank you for being my first love.
Thank you for teaching me how to get hurt and bandage myself.
I turned you into lyics.

stay original. <3 Lizz

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